Wow what a day and I think this journal page explains my sentiments exactly.....
Claiming to value something but not giving it full attention, and, in fact, giving attention to another, or many other, things is the exact opposite of Yoga. According to the Sutras, this divided attention often reflects a superficial, unstable mind and cloudy or conflicting values. Sadly, this condition is increasingly common in a world offering more and more shiny objects, easy promises, and a particularly toxic cocktail of unlimited freedom and diminishing accountability.
Both the Yoga Sutras, and the Big book agree that samyama, or long-term sobriety (not mere abstinence, but actually thriving) is contingent on clarifying values (through meditation or the twelve steps), and living a life of integrity and rigorous honesty. For it is only when we are consistently able to choose, focus, and sustain our attention on those things which fill our lives with lasting joy that we can fully flourish, finally free of unhealthy patterns, habits and addiction. Now, that's enviable. Robert Birnberg